Buscando en varios blogs, encontré este texto escrito por una sumisa, subgirl4u1, que me pareció muy interesante. No pude agregar ningún comentario en su blog por ser usuario estándar, pero creo que vale la pena compartirlo.
Submissive Ponders
Been reading a lot this evening, looking more for answers to why I have such a submissive nature. Why I like pain, why I like control. I wonder if I'll ever find the answers that I seek. Shouldn't I just be ok without answers and accept me for who I am and not have to have an answer as to why I enjoy it when a man calls me a pain slut.
In my tiresome pursuit of answers I read quite a bit on the dominant as well. And wow, that just takes me on a whole other quest, as really as much as I need to submit, any partner who enjoys that I am his pain slut has an intense need to dominate as well. That is even MORE foreign to me. Someone who is able to take on that role, that responsibility, that level of infliction, I'm in awe of doms. Here is a bit that I found particularly interesting:
Like a submissive, a dominant is likely to enter the scene either as a sadist, or with ideas of finding an immediate-type submissive, possibly for kinky-sex.
As the one who inflicts the PDR (pain, discomfort, restraint) on the submissive one of the first things that he must learn is how to do the inflicting and how to do it safely. The early stages here are purely mechanical---involving tying knots, and learning how to wield a whip, flogger, crop and candle.
If he is into role-playing fantasy then he must also learn how to create scenes in his mind and how to express them, story-teller style, to his submissive.
His growth might end at this point. He might remain an immediate dominant.
Further development requires that he don a mantle of significant responsibility because to involve himself with a psychological submissive or a slave means exploring and playing with the often-sensitive emotional and spiritual sides of his submissive. Cuts and bruises caused by a whip or flogger will heal in a few days, but the real emotional hurt that a dominant can inflict on a trusting submissive by poorly chosen words or actions can take weeks or months to heal, if ever.
The skills required by this type of dominant include perceptiveness, compassion, wisdom, sensibility, understanding, empathy, patience, openness, honesty, the ability to communicate, the ability to explore trust and the ability to explore intimacy, both his submissive's and his own, without fear or deception.
Some dominants have these skills. Some must learn them. Some will never have them.
The dominant of a psychological submissive or a slave will take often the role of teacher and mentor for his submissive. She will look to him for guidance and authority in her exploration of herself and BDSM. He will need to be sensitive to her changing needs both within scenes and in "real-life" as her submissive aspects develop and integrate with the rest of her personality.
Of course, the dominant must learn these things, often doing so with a submissive whose experience reasonably matches his own, growing with her and, undoubtedly, making mistakes along the way.
The best tool that the dominant has to aid his learning and his growth is his ability to communicate with his submissive. By talking with her, discussing her reaction to him and to their scenes together he will learn how she reacts and gain more confidence in himself. From her and his growing pool of experience he will develop new ideas and new approaches.
He needs to be very open and very accepting. It will often be the case that his own preconceived ideas will be clearly and definitively wrong, and he must be ready to read the signs and hear the words from his submissive that tell him so. Stubbornness in some things is good, but responding and adapting too slowly to his submissive can be just as damaging to the submissive's trust as responding badly or not responding at all.
and how can anyone not be in total awe
subgirl4u1
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